NBTD

Most people tend to do mistakes whether they realize it or not. Some
mistakes can hurt other people unintentionally, and they can be emotionally or mentally. Emotional pain is more bitter than
physical pain..and i dont quite know how to put it in words..

Yesterday, I
realized that all this time, i’ve been hurting my gf. I’ve been taking
her for granted, and not giving much attention to her. She told me all
the little things that she’s been keeping inside..little for me, but
significant enough for her to make her question whether we were meant
for each other or not..

I’ve been blind for a long time, blind to see how she
needs for my attention, blind to see what she’s been through, blind to
see what may happen in our future if i ignored all the matters that
seem small to me.

I’ve only been thinking of myself, and
cared little of what she feels. Its not like I’ve never been hurt by
her, but all the time i’ve was hurt, i’d hurt her back..more. Yes i
know and i admit it, i was being selfish and egoistic, and i really
regret that.. "Regret? Ur regret only lasts for a couple of days or
more, then u’ll forget it and treat me as usual..Do i need to beg you
for attention every time things like this happen?Every 2 or 3
days?"..that was what she said, and its more or less true. *sigh*

I
dont want to lose her..i’m afraid to lose her. I really love her deep
in my heart, and somehow i kept forgetting about her when i have other
agendas that’s more important to me. Its been 5 years, and i know she’s
been heart broken more than a dozen of times..if i were to continue our
relationship like this, i dont know how long she can last..i need to
change..soon..now..

God please help me.

This entry was posted on Monday, December 4th, 2006 at 5:01 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.