NBTD

We will only realize the importance of someone or something when they’re gone and not around. I’ve experienced that before, yet I am still making the mistake of taking things for granted. I’m selfish and insensitive to others. I know I am not supposed to be like that, but I just can’t correct myself. And i hate this feeling. This guilt.

Alo alo~ its been a long time since i last updated this. the last one was also not supposed to be there (not to be read by the public) hahaha

well, ive been working here in kertih for 3 months now, and im happy to say that im quickly adapting to my working and living environment here. i’m already used to the 22km journey from my house to the office, the lack of entertainment & mamak stalls, the no-store-open-every-friday, and also the food & people here. as i already mentioned in a post before, i grew my appetite since i got here. wut i mean is, before this i would just skip breakfast, but now my day isnt complete without nasi minyak or nasi goreng for breakfast >_< well, i think that compensates for the late night supper i used to have at mamak stalls before this…

talking about food, there was this one time where i had a buffet lunch at awana hotel in kijal, and it was superb i was there for a product seminar by one of our vendor. the seminar was informative, n the meal after that is much much better. it has been a very long time since i had any buffets, and that day i was really satisfied with the dishes. i wanted to stay longer and eat more, but thinking about the work i hav at the office i had to stop before i get really full, or else i wud be damn sleepy to do any work

Work is ok. initially i was concentrating to one of the core responsibilities/work of my section, but as time goes by i was exposed to a lot more managerial stuff (is there such a word? :P). i came to see the overview of not only my section’s work (facilities), but also my department’s. and i also came to know the attitudes of each person…n to be honest im not very fond to all of them. let’s not go any further

hurm, as for the upcoming weeks, i’ll be quite busy every weekend. tomorrow i will have a program held by my department, then next weekend i will go to klia to see my sister before she flies to the us, the weekend after that i will have a HSE event closing ceremony in perak, n then the next weekend i will have my convo ceremony

ok, till next time…

Dearest, this post is for made especially for u…

I know u haven’t been in a long distance relationship before, and it takes time for u to get used to it. For the time being, u have cried lots of time…all coz of we’re far away. i miss u as much as u miss me dear, and i wish to be with u all the time too. but lets face it, u have (less than) 6 months to go before u can grad, and after that, who knows where u will be stationed. if we’re really lucky, u get stationed here, so we can spend everyday 2gether. if we’re less lucky, you’ll b working in kl, but thats no prob coz we already discussed about it rite?

I thank u for making me feel needed and appreciated. I’m really glad and happy that we’re together. I know it takes time for me to get used to and know u better, but we have lots of time for that. i am trying to get rid of my -ve sides that u don’t like…jealous, gatal, etc.. but i want u to know that i rly want to work this out. my previous LDR was a disaster, as i was blinded by something else, which i mistakenly took it as luv, but actually wasn’t. never mind, that relationship was already brittle n waiting for its time to collapse.

now, whats important is that i’m with u. i am really happy with this, n i want to be happy in my future too…lets work this out together k.

Here are the updates since last time i posted:
1. Started working as a facilities exec at Kertih Regional Office.
2. Lived with shak & pian in a single storey terrace in Tmn Murni Perdana, Paka (22kms from my office).
3. Went new places, met new people,and FOOD! (which increased my appetite lately xD)
4. Fell in love with a local indie artist, Yuna (with her songs actly)
4. Registered TMnet Streamyx & ordered (and already received) a rm220 wifi router…but its already two weeks and TM havent installed the telephone line yet!!
5. Experienced a MAJOR prob with an important document posted using Pos Express….damn.
6. Made JFX "hotter" in the eyes of jpj & traffic police =P
7. Found a special sumone who became my gf, and made me happy =)
8. Changed to Maxis postpaid, and made it my primary number (since DG coverage in Kertih sux)
9. Going to my first outstation for training in Segamat, where i will meet some of my ex-UTP fwens.

Its been a while since i last updated this blog. I’ve been very busy with a few things lately and i cant find a time to sit down and do it. I’ll share more on what they are, but before that I’d like to announce (to those who still dont know) that I’ll start working in Kerteh with PGB starting next month, which is only a couple of days away. Received a call from HR on the 18th, and got the offer letter the day after. Was really relieved to receive the job offer after four months of planting grapes. At least i can have a stable income, compared to the income i get from repairing customer’s PCs and laptops.

Everyone have goals in life, and this job is a stepping stone for me to get to mine. No, i dont plan to stay in that company for the rest of my life, but at least i’l stay there for 10 years for the sake of the contract. Its a large company with a lot of competition (read: colleagues), so its kinda hard for me to climb up my career ladder. I can opt to live a simple life, doing the same routine job, staying at the same career level, for the next 10 years of my life but I dont want to! That wont take me to the goals that i’ve set up, one of which is an e46 by the end of 2010

Due to this, i dont think i can go online often for the next couple of weeks. At least not until i’ve subscribed to streamyx or any wireless broadband….damn i cant live w/o the internet.hahahaha..

I’l be staying with shark and pian, who have already started working there for more than a month. Its nice to have some friends in a place which i am not familiar with. I’l feel more at home with friends around

Say hi to kerteh, and goodbye to late night lepak at mamak, late night BT/Hyjal raids, and late night CoD4/DotA…

I’d like to thank my friends who have been with me this past 4 months.  Zamree, Ekal, Ediph, AP, Shafiq, Afiq, Im, Epul, Fathi, Dudud, Bangah and Bulu (sowi if i missed out some names). You guys are really fun to hang out with. Honestly when i was still studying, everytime i go back home to JB i’l get bored, coz i’ve lost contact with most of my friends here. The first few weeks of grape planting was bored like hell, until i started hanging out with u guys. I’m really glad i met u guys, and i’l try my best to keep in touch!

I’m already starving, so i guess i’l cut it short here. Juz fyi JFX had gone some minor facelift. Will post the pics up in my fs. And to zamree, goodluck with VirtualCore and Teeya!

The other day, i was surfing and doing whatever i do in front of the pc when a familiar song played in my playlist. It did take me a few moments to recall that it was a song which i dedicated to a very good friend of mine after we had a fight. U know who u are

Here are the lyrics of "Forgive Me" by my all time fav band, Evanescence.

Can you forgive me again?
I don’t know what I said
But I didn’t mean to hurt you

And you forgive me again

You’re my one true friend
And I never meant to hurt you

Title is self explanatory. Happened last week after i’ve done much thinking. Reasons are:
1. Someone already asked for her hand in marriage
2. It was an irrational relationship
3. I dun want a gf at the moment (want scandals only :P)

p/s-she’s not my scandal.she’s juz a friend.a very good friend

I know I promised to elaborate on the last entry, but due to some reasons I cant (read:lazy :P). Well, maybe a little… I went to Shah Alam and met with some friends. They were Shah, Zarep, Issey, Ijam, Pendy, and some others (sorry guys if I misspelled ur names). It was the first time I meet them, as they were only virtual friends in WoW!

I played WoW in a private server called Demetrox Core Server. The players there were mostly Malaysians, but there were also some from Singapore, US, and even Czech! The server’s based in Singapore and maintained by a group of dedicated admins from Malaysia.

Its not bugged as much as other private servers that i played, the GMs are most of the time around to assist and help players, and the raids are challenging and fun! The bosses are not entirely melee (they have skills!), and are tuned to the players’ skills. Which means that when the admin team feel that the bosses are too easy, they will bump the bosses’ skills a bit to give the players more challenge.

Events, raids, battlegrounds…there’s lots of things that I wanna tell about Demetrox Core, but I guess its better if u guys go to their website itself and see here.

p/s-ajuk, nk s3 pls! aku dh promote server ko!

That’s all for this entry, but before that..to someone:
I’ve sumthing to say to u but not that much. Yeah we never had anything going on officially..u were only my client and our contract ended last year Nonetheless, there were some complications after the contract period, and I admit it was my fault for misunderstanding. Am sorry for all that. The other day I told u dat I wanted to forget u entirely, but i think it doesn’t really matter now as there’s no more ache inside. but one thing’s for sure: u’ve opened up my eyes and changed my view to life, and i thank u for that. no hard feelings

30th march - penat.ngantuk.xde mood, n sebagainye.kenapela panas sgt kat sini…hai
29th march - got excited for sumthing which never came.but instead sumthing else brightened up my day.thx
28th march - hanged out wif frenz.had fun.lots of fun

27th march - met frenz from demetrox core server: shah, zarep, issey
26th march - worked hard for the upcoming weekend
25th march - played frenly match of dota wif neo (read: ownage lol)
24th march - forgot already

that’s all.hahahaha.malas nk tulis in detail.prolly later

i hate nagging
coz i hate being nagged at
but i juz cant help it
coz it hurts so much when i think about it
i try to convey it clearly
but is it so hard to understand?
until i hav to say it over and over again
is it tiring hearing me complaint?
i guess so, coz i’m tired myself
i was told not to think much about it
but that’s the same as telling me to become ignorant of my own feelings

can i be cold to people?
yes i can
can i ignore people?
yes i can
can i forget about people?
yes i can
can i be insensitive to others?
yes i can
but i cant be like that to u
and i dont know y

i’m selfish i’m oversensitive
i know that
i hate myself
but like u said: who doesnt?

i wish i can make things simpler and not complicated
and i’ll try to
eventhough it hurts